Saturday, 30 August 2014

Harvey's sponsored bark

Arrff! Harvey here again.

Mrs Boss says she's going to put me into a sponsored bark. She's figured out how to do it. One day, not so long ago, I wandered innocently into the dining room. Lo and behold, there was a new door in there. And standing inside this door was a golden retriever, about my size, but not as handsome.

The other dog barked at me. I barked back.

The other dog's hackles rose. So did mine.

The other dog growled, and snarled, and got fiercer and fiercer. So did I!

Then Mrs Boss ran down the stairs, asking where the burglars were. Burglars? There was only me - and the mystery dog, of course.

Then Mrs Boss picked up the new door - which wasn't a door at all! She said it was a full length mirror. She'd just bought it, on account of doing more dressmaking and needing to keep her hems straight. She said the other dog was only me reflected in the mirror. I didn't believe her. I'm much better looking than that other dog. But I had to admit I couldn't find that dog anywhere in the house. Not even a sniff of him.

Mrs Boss hid the mirror down the side of the bookcase. She says if she ever wants me to bark and bark and bark, she'll get it out again. And perhaps people could sponsor me to raise money for dogs who don't have nice gardens to dig up, or plenty of windfall apples to gorge themselves silly on.

So on Tuesday I was just having a little practice bark outside. I didn't think anyone would notice over the din of Mr Boss mowing the lawn. And then... silence. Mr Boss had run over the electric cable with the mower! And he had the nerve to blame me for distracting him! He's gone to buy a new mower now. Mrs Boss is reviewing the life insurance.

Since the nights began to draw in, Mrs Boss has been knitting. I don't know what's happened to her writing. She says neither does she.

She did have a little piece published for National Flash Fiction Day in June. It's right here.

But she is optimistic about having some writing news next month. It's September, you see, which is one of her favourite months. A time for new plans, she says. And new slippers too. On Wednesday she went to the park in her old ones. Talk about embarrassing. I had to laaarrrrfffff!


Teresa Ashby said...

Oh Harvey you are so very handsome!

Fancy that new door turning out to be a mirror - I thought you'd been invaded!

Must have been scary when Mr Boss ran over the mower cable.

I'm off to read Mrs Boss's flash fiction now. Don't forget to remind her not to go out in her slippers :-) x

joanne fox said...

Aaarrrfff! I'll try, Teresa, but she can be very scatty at times! x

How Sam Sees It said...

We will read it too! Our pups have never seen themselves in a mirror - I wonder what would happen?

Monty and Harlow

joanne fox said...

Monty and Harlow, you are both stunning examples of golden retrieverness and don't need to look in a mirror!

Sharon Bradshaw said...

A great post, Jo, thank you. It sounds as if you are having a hectic time. I saw your poem Ladders in the last Dawntreader magazine, it's lovely :)

joanne fox said...

Thank you Sharon. x

Pat Posner said...

We get mystery dogs here as well. They come when it's dark outside and they stare in our kitchen window when our mum is getting our food ready.
Even both of us barking back at them doesn't scare them away. They only go when Mum pulls the blind down.

Tell your Mr Boss we don't think it was your fault when he killed the mower. He should have been looking at what he was doing.
Mum says'hello' to your Mrs Boss
Happy barking
Tim and Ted

joanne fox said...

Aarrrfff! Those mystery dogs must be so jealous of your lovely home and well filled food dishes. Greetings from Mrs Boss also.

bazza said...

Harvey, you should get your own Blog. Actually, coming to think of it you seem to have taken over this one!
Signed Bazza’s cat Ginger:

joanne fox said...

Aaarrrfff! Ginger, if I didn't do it, Mrs Boss would never get round to it!

Wendy's Writing said...

Love Harvey! Just going to read the flash piece.

joanne fox said...

Aarrrfff Wendy!

suzy doodling said...

That's funny Harvey, and the scarf looks grand. What do you do with these bosses eh???? She should write about you, tell her. xx

joanne fox said...

Aaarrrfff! I will, suzy doodling, thanks!

Keith Havers said...

Good to see you back, Harvey. Hope it's good news for the boss on the writing front.

joanne fox said...

AAArrrfff, Keith! Nice to see you too.

Biddy Fraser said...

Harvey, you look gorgeous in that scarf.

And you're right, Jo, September is a wonderful month, definitely a time of new beginnings.

joanne fox said...

Aaarrrfff to those puddytats! I do look gorgeous, but it's always nice to hear it again!